Is there such a thing as a nice and easy divorce? Maybe for couples that were only married for two seconds and did not have enough time to make any joint purchases or have children. However, even for these couples, the process can be complicated. Once you throw in kids, the house in Belleville, retirement and investment accounts, and over ten years of marriage, things definitely get more complicated. And contentious.
While you and your soon-to-be ex-wife cannot agree on most things anymore, one thing you are in alignment with is trying to get through divorce as smoothly as possible. For some strategies to help you have a "healthy" divorce, read the tips below.
Divorce is not a battle
While you might be tempted to fight every step of the way, it is important to remember that divorce is not a battle. Once you are done dividing the marital property, it will not be the end of your relationship with your spouse. You have children that the two of you still have to raise together. Start things off on the right foot by being open to communication and cooperation. Divorce mediation may be a good solution to help you and your ex not only get through the process with the least amount of bloodshed, but also start to build a working relationship that will benefit your children.
Keep yourself healthy
Since divorces can often be traumatic and elicit an overwhelming amount of negative emotions, it is important that you spend time focusing on yourself. In other words, take care of yourself physically and mentally. Turn to positive sources for support. This might include family members, close friends, a therapist or even a support group. Also, this might be just the right time to start that activity or hobby you always wanted to try. During this time is vital to do things that promote healthy habits so that you are not drowning in the negative effects of divorce.
Take care of the kids
You know first-hand that your impending divorce is hard on you. It is also hard on your children. They should not be participants or even spectators to the conflict that you and your spouse are experiencing. Try to shield them from the proceedings as much as possible. This means that you should refrain from making negative comments about their mother, fighting in front of them, or trying to use them as leverage. Instead, have an honest conversation with them about what is going on and do your best to minimize the stress they might be experiencing. Keep your interactions with them on a positive level at all times.
If you are going through divorce, there are things you can do to make the process less traumatic and contentious. Divorce mediation may be a great option for you and your spouse to end the marriage while working on a foundation of communication and cooperation for the sake of your children.